On the Making of Emotion Illiteracy
If you experience a loss, it's ok to feel sad: you might need to spend some time by yourself before you can truly move on. As Dr. Moiso explains us in "The feeling loop", each emotion has its own place, and we all use feelings to constructively cope with life's events, unless we have been taught otherwise...
Child: "My dear pet rabbit is dead!"
Parent1: "I am very sorry, it was a good rabbit"
It's ok to feel Sad.
Parent2: "You should have taken better care of the rabbit!"
Don't feel sad, feel Guilty.
Parent3: "It's contagious! Let's get the doctor to visit you!"
Don't feel sad, feel Afraid.
Parent4: "Ooooh, it went to heaven, how lucky! We'll buy you a better one!"
Don't feel sad, feel Happy.
Parent5: "The pet store is a fraud! They said it was perfectly healthy!"
Don't feel sad, feel Angry.
Parent6: "Come on, it's only a rabbit"
Don't feel anything at all.
Child: "My dear pet rabbit is dead!"
Parent1: "I am very sorry, it was a good rabbit"
It's ok to feel Sad.
Parent2: "You should have taken better care of the rabbit!"
Don't feel sad, feel Guilty.
Parent3: "It's contagious! Let's get the doctor to visit you!"
Don't feel sad, feel Afraid.
Parent4: "Ooooh, it went to heaven, how lucky! We'll buy you a better one!"
Don't feel sad, feel Happy.
Parent5: "The pet store is a fraud! They said it was perfectly healthy!"
Don't feel sad, feel Angry.
Parent6: "Come on, it's only a rabbit"
Don't feel anything at all.
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Interestingly, this goes on at work too.
"Oh dear, our company is being bought by our biggest competitor. I'm afraid I'll lose my job!"
You can easily construct 6 replies similar to those above, and I bet you'd hear the "bad 5" at work all the time.
Posted by: Alexander Kjerulf
I agree Alex, and as you say on your blog, we need to find a space for emotions at work.
Posted by: Marco