Free yourself from the ghosts of your past
He might be a dear friend, or maybe he is your father. Trouble is that he is now gone for good and there was still so much to say! Has he passed away or has he simply left? Well, the result is the same: you can’t talk with him anymore, and yet you think about him almost every day.
Maybe you haven’t expressed your love as you wished to, or maybe there were angry words to be said: it is all stuck here, deep inside of you, and it is making your life less happy than it should be.
The good news is that you can free yourself from the ghosts of your past: the memory of your loved ones will stay, but you’ll think about them in a more relaxed and less frequent fashion. Interested?
The steps below are adapted from the famous two-chair technique, successfully used by counselors and psychotherapists all over the word. Combine two-chair work with a Separation Ritual, and you get the Ghostbuster: my supercharged tool for letting your past stay where it belongs too…
1- Find yourself a room with two chairs where you can be alone and undisturbed.
2- Sit down on one chair and place the other one in front of you.
3- Put the person you need to talk to on the empty chair. In other words, imagine that he or she is seating on the previously empty chair.
4- Talk to the other person directly: he or she is there with you.
5- If you need a reply, stand up and sit down on the other chair. Now you are the person who you needed to talk to: go ahead and reply to what has been asked.
6- Continue the conversation moving back and forth for as long as needed. Look for a resolution, search a final clarification. If you are feeling too uncomfortable stop and move immediately to step 12.
7- You were attached to this person. Visualize such attachment as a number of strings and chains, which link the other person to you in this very moment.
8- Feel the weight of such strings & chains. See how much they limit your movements.
9- Imagine having in your hands a magic instrument that can cut those chains. Maybe it is a saw or a knife, but it could even be a plate of spaghetti! Only your imagination knows the right answer.
10- Cut all of the chains with your magic instrument. Be thorough: make sure that not even a little string is left.
11- Put the other person off the empty chair. Make any physical gesture you feel ‘right’ to make sure the chair is now completely empty.
12- The procedure is complete: celebrate your newly found freedom!
WARNING: The 12 steps above are very powerful and can help you in several unexpected ways. For example, you might feel happier than you were before or your relationship with a loved one might suddenly improve. On the other hand, if you have ever thought about killing yourself or others, please perform the 12 steps above only with the assistance of an experienced counselor.
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