CHANGE IS NOT ALWAYS EASY
. We might decide to stop smoking, we think we should
really quit, we ought
to do it for our own sake, and in the end nothing changes: it felt heavy
, it was too much work
, and something within ourselves rebelled against it. How could that happen?
When we impose limitations on our behavior, we often place ourselves on the side of our inner Parent, giving orders, saying DON’T, asking for obedience in a way which might be resented: most children would be pretty angry if you forbid them to play their favorite game!
In Transactional Analysis Counseling we have a saying: “Get the Child on your side”. Let’s say I want to stop smoking, how do I “Get the Child on my side”? Playfully, lightly
, maybe deciding that “when I feel like smoking a cigarette, I’ll have a sexual fantasy instead!” or “with the money I save from cigarettes, I’ll buy myself a little present everyday!”. Focus on saying yes to something healthier, rather than just saying no. Teach your Child a brand new game, he will soon get bored to play the same old one.
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