Even Happier: Love your breasts as they are

I have never met a woman who was entirely satisfied with her breasts.

"Too small!"
"They are way too big."
"The left one is much bigger than the right one, can’t you see?"

And I could never see. What I saw instead was an attractive woman comparing herself to an impossible standard of beauty.

Dove campaign-for-real-beauty get this message across very well: electronically touched-up images of models are presented as genuine, becoming ideals of a “beauty” which simply does not exist.

And if computer-wizards with their photoshop-magic weren’t doing enough, the spread of plastic surgery further distorts the idea of a normal body, so that the anti-gravity breasts you see on the cinema become your standard of how a beautiful bosom “ought to be.”

In short, you might suffer from a cognitive distortion, perceiving as quasi-normal the impossible breasts you see on TV, and as less than normal the nice breasts that Mother Nature has given you.

Have you ever thought of how much happier you could be if you were to fully accept your bosom as it is, and possibly all of your body too? Shame would be a think of the past, sex would be even more enjoyable, and the overall confidence boost you would get could help you achieving previously unthinkable results both in your personal and in your professional life.

If you don’t love your breasts yet, the first step is deciding if you really want to change this state of affair, or if you prefer to continue having mixed feelings about your own body.

I’ll give a few minutes to think about this one, in the meantime, I’ll get myself something to eat…

…
…
…

…and if you are still reading this post, I assume you have decided to fully accept your breasts as they are: congratulation! The first step is the most difficult one, and all of the others will be much easier for you. Just remember: if there’s a step which does not apply to your situation, simply skip it and move to the next one.

- Decide that you want to fully accept your breasts as they are.
Well, you have done this already, and I am writing it again simply because you might need to firm up this decision once or twice.

- Behave as if you already love your breasts.
For example, how would you dress if you were to fully accept your breasts as they are? Small steps are key here: you need to stretch your comfort zone just a little, without going all the way doing something which would makes you feel very uncomfortable, like wearing a see-through blouse without a bra.

- Hang out with people who like your breasts and tell you so. (in an appropriate manner)
If you have a boyfriend, what he feels and say about your body it’s important to the way you think about yourself: pay attention to what he says with regards to your breasts, both in private and in public, and check with your girlfriends to have an additional perspective.

If he doesn’t like your body at all, you might need to confront him, and maybe even consider finding a new partner.

If he does like you but he is not accustomed to pay compliments, go ahead and ask for them, explaining also which type of appreciation you are most in need of, and how it is best delivered. (eg.: yes to saying in private ‘I love to kiss your beautiful nipples’, no to something dirty and gross)

At this point you might wonder why on earth an intelligent man could ever need all of those instructions to do something as easy as paying a compliment. Well, that is one of the great mystery of life, ranking equally with “Who are we?” and “Where do we came from?”…

- Don’t gossip about other’s people body.
Avoid comparing your body with other women’s, and if you absolutely have to, always compare yourself with someone you consider less attractive than yourself.

- Pamper you breast with moisturizer.
Breasts have thinner skin than the rest of your body, so they are susceptible to dryness. Taking care of their hydration needs is yet another way to love them.

- Include your breasts in sexual play.
You might be doing it already, and if that is the case, your focus might be discovering new ways in which your bosom can give you pleasure. Be receptive to the way in which you prefer your breast to be stimulated and gently communicate it to your partner.

I would really appreciate it if you could write a short review of this post on StumbleUpon. You could also email it to a friend, Digg It, or add it to any other social bookmarking site you currently use

Comments

Interesting random stumble. I caught the headline and sat to read it. I like it. I..am rather fond of my breasts, but do suffer from lack of compliments...I know my bf loves them but he is -very- reserved and has trouble complimenting them.

Posted by: Ivy

Hello Ivy,
Some people are not accustomed to paying compliments and need encouragement: I wonder what would happen if you were to pLayFUuuully ask your boyfriend to compliment your breasts...

Posted by: Marco

I have small breasts ... 34B ... I have read up on "how to" "upsize small breasts" which includes details of the type of bra to wear with padding, the styles which will detract from lack of cleavage etc etc. For many years I've considered this information to be useful ... wear pockets over a small bust ... but the subtle implication is that a small bust is NOT GOOD ENOUGH. I'm not suggesting that as ladies shouldn't make the most of what we've got .... but I agree that we COULD LOVE what we've got. Yes, my boobs look better naked, pert, beautifully formed and lovely ... heck ... if I don't like them ... how can I expect my partner to give them compliments!!

Posted by: Tamara

Tamara, You've got a point there: why should we correct something which is already good?

The media cunningly suggest that we should spend our lives striving toward toward an impossible model of beauty.

The result is frustration, and more business for those who want to sell us plastic surgery or the latest wonder cream.

You've made up your mind to love the breast you've got, and now nothing is going to stop you!

What if you have no breasts?
Like I'm talking 34 AA ?
People treat you as less than a woman. You can't even wear revealing clothing. What do you do then? Now I'm not saying get implants. Implants are stupid and bad for your health. Hormones are dangerous. Maybe in the future there will be safer alternatives like Macrolane. Or maybe one day, you'll meet someone who won't care. But you'll probably still care even if they don't. But then again, maybe you'll get pregnant and then your breasts will grow.

Posted by: Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,
I understand your desire to change your breast, and I am sorry to hear that you feel treated as less than a woman.

I have four close man friend, and interestingly they have all diverging opinions on how curvaceous a woman should be. The best looking of them - who also keeps fit in the gym - prefer little or no breasts in women, as you see in many fashion models. There are very many man who thinks like him, and many others who disagree.

I don't consider him right or wrong, I just know that many people perceive very small breasts as ideal.

Forgetting about what men think, let's make an experiment. Try imaging that your perception of your breasts is distorted, and that they are actually ok as they are. Could that be true?

I'm a hetrosexual woman - but I do think there is something VERY SEXY about small breasts ... I have a cousin with "nothing" - but she is a VERY SEXY lady. Like Marco says ... and I wonder if it's more about how a woman "holds herself" ... think sexy, be sexy. Think plain jane .... oh let's not go there ... THINK SEXY!!!

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