: we all have them, even when we say we don’t! Fantasies can help us in stimulating arousal, making intercourse more interesting
when it actually comes…
In counseling, fantasies can be used to block out unwanted cravings
or thoughts, and in psychosexual therapy
they are great tools to refocus on sensual pleasure. In short, there’s every reason to enjoy our sexual fantasies, and no reason to feel guilty about them!
Usually our most secret fantasy is best kept in the imaginary world: acting out a fantasy might lessen the excitement value of it, and in the real world sex is different from how we fantasize about it...
Kelly is turned on by the thought of being forced to have sex against her will, but she would never want to be raped. Emily enjoys imaging what it would be like to make love to her next-door-neighbor, but she has no real desire to be unfaithful to her husband.
So if our secret fantasies are not mental rehearsals for something that we actually plan to do, what on earth are they, and what are they saying about ourselves?
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