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Surprise “The fantasy model of sex dictates that men should be able to function and presumably enjoy sex without any special requirements. The fact is that we all have requirements and conditions.” says Dr Bernie Zilbergeld in "The New Male Sexuality".

We might fantasize that we could have great sex with any consenting woman, but the reality is that we all have conditions that need to be met in order to have good sex. Let’s review the most common ones:

- Attraction
Confess! There is at least one woman who you would say no to!

- Tiredness
There are times in which all you want to do is sleeping!

- Stress
Sure, sex can be relaxing and regenerating, but if you have just been fired or had a terrible day at school, maybe you just don't feel in the right mood.

- Alcohol intake
As a rule of thumb, if you are so drunk you are not able to walk, then you are also too drunk to have sex! ;)

In short, using Dr. Zilbergeld words, “If I were asked what’s the most important single thing a man could do to have better sex or to resolve a sexual difficulty, my answer would be: find out what you need and make sure you get it."

You probably have an idea of what your requirements are, but if you need some help to clarify them, here you can find a short visualization to give you a hand.

1- Think back to the time you had the most exciting sex of your life. Don’t pick what “your mates” consider your coolest sex experience: “Wow, you made up with 2 women, that must have been the best sex of your life!”. Concentrate instead on what was the most satisfying sexual experience for you and visualize it. Where were you? What happened before sex? How did you feel about yourself and your partner before intercourse and immediately afterward?

2- Now think of your worse experience, when you either did not enjoy sex much or had a problem (e.g. ejaculating too soon, having trouble in reaching or maintaining an erection, or preoccupying yourself with the size of your penis). Visualize what happened before and during intercourse.

3- Which were the differences between scenario 1 and 2? Be specific. For example, "Scenario 1: I was rested, I felt highly attracted to Judy, we had all afternoon and we were alone at home. Scenario 2: I was rested, I felt mildly attracted to Emma, we just had an argument and we had only half an hour. Differences: I need attraction, time and no recent arguments to enjoy sex". Listing the differences between the two scenarios will give you insights on your requirements for great sex. Enjoy. :)

Comments

Hi.

I read full article really i love it and will share it with my boyfriend to do the same.

With regards
Julia Jones

uTH44N Hi. Sorry, but I think that I don't understood clearly all the aspects.

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